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Dark Chocolate 2

February 23, 2009

In my previous post on Saturday, I discussed a love issue in my life. Now, I encountered my crush today in school and the strangest thing happened.

It was as if I became a different person. I walked in the classroom, completely ignoring my crush as to avoid any awkward feelings and I began talking loudly to my friend about a test for which I would have to study. My crush was in a deep conversation with another student about skiing, (I believe) and seemed to not notice me at all, which wasn’t a big deal but strange nonetheless. Later on, I caught a glimpse of my crush and suddenly I had a brief rise of elation in me. For about 5 seconds I actually felt happy that my crush was happy with the status in which my crush was: nearly oblivious of our conversation on the phone the other day.

My crush was absent last class (I make these so descriptive that my crush probably realizes who I am and about whom I am writing) and needed to make up a test, so my teacher gave the students who did see the movie a worksheet and sent my crush out in the hall to take the test. As soon as that person left, I felt this weird—almost nauseating—feeling as if I’d never see this person again.

At the end of the class, it seemed as if my crush was in a really big rush to leave; I was staying after with the friend with whom I was talking about the test earlier. Even then, my crush seemed to ignore me; no direct eye contact. I left school with a confused but content emotion and then my crush appeared online and we had a conversation. It was a simple “hey what’s up?” conversation; nothing said about previous encounters at all.

I know I’m supposed to let go of all this, but I my mind still wants some more closure before it calms down and it seems that there will be a third post to this story later this week.

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