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March 3, 2009

You know you care about someone when you feel what they feel. I was talking to my friend toay in school and I was given grave news. I won’t say what that grave news was; you’ll probably find out on your own if you live in my area. To be honest, this situation did not move me one bit. It was simply a common misfortune that would blow over; I had no personal connections with the situation. However, when someone very dear to me (by the alias, Siène) told me about the situation via instant messaging, without even seeing or hearing Siène, I could sense the hurt. I saw Siène today in the hallway, and Siène didn’t seem as ecstatic as Siène usually is. It shocked me how quiet Siène was. I didn’t realize the personal connection between Siène and the situation at that time, but I did feel this sense of… disturbance (for want of a better word).

When I found out about the situation through Siène, though it could have been a coincidence, I made the connection with Siène’s mood and suddenly I felt hurt as well. Perhaps I’m still not sad about the situation, but the few words that I received from Siène made me understand that Siène was—is—in a feeling of remorse, and it killed me to know this.

If Siène is reading this post, I just want you to know that I cannot bare knowing you’re in this kind of pain. I want you to know, I’m always there if you need me. I hope this feeling I sense you are feeling is just a misunderstanding and that you are still smiling, where ever you are.

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