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If it Kills [Him]

August 6, 2010

“Hello, tell me you know
Yeah, you figured me out
Something gave it away
Well it would be such a beautiful moment
To see the look on your face
To know that I know that you know now.
Well, baby, that’s a case of my wishful thinking
You know nothing
You and I, why we go carrying it on
For hours on and
We get along much better
Than you and your boyfriend

All I really wanna do is love you
Kinda much closer than friends use
But I still can’t say it after all we’ve been through
And all I really want from you is to feel me
As this feeling inside keeps building
And I will find a way to you if it kills me.

How long can I go on like this
wishing to kiss you,
before I rightly explode?
Well, this double life I lead isn’t healthy for me
In fact, it makes me nervous
If I get caught, I could be risking it all.
Maybe there’s a lot that I missed.
In case I’m wrong…


If I should be so bold,
I’d ask you to hold my heart in your hand.
I’d tell you from the start how I long to be your man.
But I never missed a word I guess I’m gonna miss my chance again.

All I really want from you is to feel me
yeah, this feeling inside, it keeps building
And I will find a way to you if it kills me, if it kills me
It might kill me.”
~If It Kills Me by Jason Mraz

I absolutely enjoy listening to this song over and over. I own Mraz’s CD recording of this song as well as his Casa Nova acoustic version of it. I love both of them equally. The CD recording is more upbeat than the latter of the two and it features a string quartet. As a violist, I am always compelled to pick up my viola and play along, which makes the song even more enjoyable. The acoustic version of the song is much warmer. I heard it for the first time on So You Think You Can Dance Season 5 with Jason Glover and Jeanine Mason (America’s Favorite Dancer of Season 5) performing a beautiful contemporary piece by wonderful Travis Wall. I particularly loved the harmony that appeared more evident in the acoustic version, and this drew me to sing along (I have actually recorded myself harmonizing over Jason. But I won’t be exposing that to the world anytime soon 😉 ).

Anyway, I have been listening and performing along with the recordings of this song for years now, and I realized that I haven’t really been paying attention to the lyrics. So I took the time to write them down up above so I could interpret them.

My Interpretation: The speaker is looking at his or her crush from a distance. The speaker probably sees the crush with his or her boyfriend. The speaker is talking using apostrophe. If I am using my AP English terms correctly, apostrophe is when someone speaks to someone or something inanimate or not present; in this case, the crush, as if it, he, or she is really there. It’s almost as if the speaker is preparing what he or she is going to say to the crush. Unfortunately the speaker “never said a word” and therefore he or she loses the crush for the time being. This is that song that someone’s secret admirer writes but never sends to the crush. It does seem, however, that the speaker is adamant on telling the crush his or her true feelings even if “it might kill [him].” It’s a rather beautiful piece, musically and lyrically, as should be expected with Jason Mraz.

You can purchase the studio and the acoustic version of “If It Kills Me” by Jason Mraz on iTunes
Perhaps I’ll make a Sims 3 Music video of this. I haven’t done that in a while….

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