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Gay Man’s Lament (Reprise)

January 29, 2011

I wrote this post on my old LGBT blog and I felt as though it was necessary that I put it up here, as my feelings about this issue have remained unchanged. (I think I will be transferring a couple of posts from my former LGBT blog to this blog in the future).

Let me just add that I find it extremely saddening to say “I like someone, but I know that he or she doesn’t like me back,” not because he or she said that he or she doesn’t like you but because he or she is straight. It really takes away from the search.

I don’t see why straight people do not understand. Well I do see why they don’t understand, but I wish they would understand exactly what LGBTQI people have to go through. I wrote a college paper on the ignorance of homophobia in public schools. One of my sources stated that there were a number of events a teenager must go through in order to be psychologically healthy, and I concluded that due to homophobia and marginalization, LGBTQI people become stunted in this category. Which is why I get upset when one of my straight friends (or even my more fortunate LGBTQI friends) tell me that I overreact when I talk about my love life or lack thereof.

Do they know what it’s like to be afraid to tell someone that you like him because you are afraid of how he’d respond to your sexuality? And then, of course, you have to deal with the surrounding people’s responses too. A gay man hitting on another man needs to go into gossip line at school. Maybe the guy is gay, but he’s closeted. And then you have to deal with the typical issue: may the guy is openly gay, but he’s just not into you. As a minority whose sexuality can’t be seen, finding someone to love is just that much more difficult than it is for a heterosexual. I’m not suicidal, but sometimes I get very tired. I feel like we deserve a small breakdown every once in a while. We are told that it gets better and that we are not alone. It does and we are, but we don’t need to be told that we are overreacting. We have it bad enough as it is, living in a scared and oppressive society.

I know there are some LGBTQI people out there who disagree with what I’m saying. We all experience life differently. I didn’t experience too much homophobia in my life, but I was a bully and I could see it. Just because you don’t go through it doesn’t mean it’s not a problem. LGBTQI people need to know that they are safe to be who they are openly. If we are more open with each other, the psychological growth period in another teenager’s life can be enriched.

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